


A Different Kind Of Need

by DGCatAniSiri



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Asexual Inquisitor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 14:45:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7761982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DGCatAniSiri/pseuds/DGCatAniSiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Inquisitor has an unexpected reaction to Bull's attempt at starting something between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Different Kind Of Need

The door slammed shut behind him. Hissard – Hissard is dead. – Iron Bull walked away from it very much confused. 

He had trained his whole life with the Ben-Hassrath, learning to read micro-expressions that no one could hide their feelings, that he could ferret out secrets without having to ask a question. All of that time and effort and training, making him one of the most capable weapons in the arsenal of the Qunari’s elite spies...

...And yet all of that had been flummoxed by a single man. 

He had read for a while now that Kost Adaar was attracted to him. He also had recognized the burden of the role of Inquisitor. Qunari knew a few things about the burdens and demands of a role placed upon you. He’d gone to the Inquisitor to allow him that stress relief, the chance to be someone not in charge. That was what his training had said that the Inquisitor needed. It should have gone simply.

And then, almost before they’d started, Adaar had demanded he stop. Bull had had to pull out a bit of cord to keep Adaar from squirming. That had been his first indication that something was wrong, because there was pure fear in Adaar’s response. He’d assumed that it had been because of Adaar hearing tales of what was done to mages among the Qun, tried to set Adaar at ease, but he wasn’t having it. He’d squirmed out of Bull’s hold, and Bull realized, even if Adaar wasn’t using the safeword he’d offered, the session was definitely over. He might be more than a little aggressive in the bedroom, but there were boundaries he wasn’t about to attempt to cross. 

Still, he was confused all the same. He’d read desire in Adaar’s eyes, knew that the other man had been making passes at him rather frequently over the last couple of months, and he could tell that the burden of command of the Inquisition had to weigh on him. He’d approached Adaar intent on providing him the ability to let go like he clearly needed to...

Bull was stumped. His training has failed him. He hadn’t been able to offer the Inquisitor what he needed. What good could he be to Adaar if he couldn’t offer him that?

***

There were thirty-six people in the tavern, and at least another twenty who could respond in moments if there were a disturbance of some kind. The elves looked delicate, but they were quick when they needed to – it’d take at least ten to twenty seconds to get a grip on any of them after the first, and it’d take both hands to accomplish the task. The humans were a simple matter, and they were the most numerous, probably needing five to ten to snap each of their necks. The dwarves had the advantage of being close to the ground, require more effort, plus they were of a sturdier and stockier build, so probably anywhere from twenty seconds to a minute, but they weren’t very numerous. In the case of most of them, they were either unarmed or had only a dagger as protection. Sera was upstairs with a good archer position, plus he couldn’t account for the kid, but the former could be dealt with by a well tossed dagger off any one of the corpses, and the latter... Well he could be a problem. Cassandra could be in the tavern in under thirty seconds once she heard the commotion. She’d be a real threat if it came down to a fight, and any fight with her would just end up delaying him until the others in the Inquisition could arrive. Any attempt to fight the Inquisition on his own would be an act of suicide. 

The analysis was practically instinct. The Ben-Hassrath had made him a weapon against the bas. Against the non-Qunari. It was still hard to stop thinking in Qunari terms, though he was now only a Qunari in the sense that he was large, grey, and had horns. 

Krem and a few of the Chargers tried to convince him to join them as they drank, but Bull was still stuck in thought. He wasn’t in a drinking mood, still attempting to figure out what had happened in the Inquisitor’s quarters. How had his training failed him? It may not be an exact science, but he’d never been so off in his estimation of others’ reactions, moods, and needs. 

It wasn’t helped when he saw the Inquisitor wander into the tavern. He glanced around, his eyes landed on Bull, and then he made a pointed effort to NOT interact with him, instead wandering upstairs, likely going to talk with Sera. That just confirmed it in Bull’s mind – he’d so severely misjudged the Inquisitor, he might have to leave the Inquisition itself. If the Boss no longer wanted to even talk to him...

“Tiny, I’m surprised at you, sitting over here, glowering. I didn’t even know your face did that.” Varric’s words cut through the sounds of the tavern and the deep concentration that Bull had been stuck in.

But Bull wasn’t in a mood to talk. Instead, he just scowled at the dwarf. “This isn’t exactly a good time, Varric.”

“When is it ever? But for you, Tiny, I’ll cut straight to the chase. It was hard to miss your abrupt departure from our dear Inquisitor’s bedchambers. Lucky for you, I’ve already taken steps to create some selective amnesia from anyone in the main hall at the time.”

That hadn’t exactly been something that Bull had worried about, given that he’d been more focused on how wrong he’d gotten things. Still, it was a nice gesture from Varric. “Thanks. Now, if you don’t mind, I-”

“Actually, I’ve got a little more to add, if you don’t mind.” Bull got the distinct impression that if he DID mind, Varric wouldn’t care anyway. He was here to dispense advice, and he would not be swayed. “Now, I don’t know what went on between the two of you, and it’s probably better for my sanity not to know what you were planning. What I do know, though, is that whatever you thought you were doing wasn’t something that the Inquisitor was fully on board with, and so, instead of talking to him and finding out what was wrong, you ran away and decided to spend your days here, moping. Have I get things right?”

He hadn’t put it in the way that Bull would have, but he did have a not inaccurate view of things. 

And Varric took his silence as confirmation, smirking. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. So my suggestion for you is to go and talk to him. Because if there’s something wrong, it’s not gonna get fixed by you sitting here.”

He certainly wasn’t wrong. Bull knew that much. Still, he’d messed up things the first time, misreading the Inquisitor and his desires. It was likely that he’d just mess it up again. He could make things worse all too easily. 

“Oh, no. You don’t get things that easily, Tiny.” Varric was now scowling at him. “See, here’s the thing. A couple of friends of mine, I won’t name names, had this period of not talking to each other. Surprise of surprises, that didn’t actually do them any good. They spent a couple of years on the outs because of it. But when they finally got around to talking like actual people with one another, they managed to get their act together and figure things out.”

Bull knew enough that even if he was ‘not naming names,’ Varric’s friends were likely Hawke and Fenris, from his ‘Tale of the Champion.’ Bull had read it both before joining the Inquisition and, once he’d learned Varric was a member of it, read it again, and a third time when he’d learned that Hawke was here, helping with things against the Wardens. He’d probably picked up on nuances of the relationship between the Champion of Kirkwall and the escaped Tevinter slave Varric wasn’t consciously aware of, given his Ben-Hassrath training.

And then he had a thought – thinking like a Ben-Hassrath had been what had gotten him into this mess. He’d used the Ben-Hassrath techniques to read Adaar. He’d depended on those, and they’d steered him wrong. Maybe he should approach this from a different direction.

And maybe Varric had a little Ben-Hassrath training of his own, because he seemed to realize that Bull had hit on a realization. “I take it you’re thinking that you should listen to the advice of the trusty dwarf?”

“You know, Varric. Sometimes you can be a real pain,” Bull said, knowing Varric would take it in the best possible way. 

Indeed, Varric smiled and gave a theatrical bow. “My friend, I get that enough, I could put it on a business card.”

***

Last time, Bull had surprised Adaar in his room by already being there. This time, he chose to knock first.

Waiting for a response was a new thing for him.

The door opened, and Kost Adaar stood before him. “Bull.”

“Boss. I wanted to talk. Just talk.” 

Adaar nodded, moving to let him into his room. Bull made his way in, sitting on the couch, trying to make sure that he wasn’t intruding on Adaar’s space. “So, I didn’t handle the... last time we were together well.”

“That’s one way of putting it. I thought you said the Ben-Hassrath trained you in micro-expressions that could tell you someone’s reactions without them even knowing what they were giving away.” Unconsciously, Adaar rubbed at his wrist, where Bull had grabbed him before.

“Yeah, it’s supposed to. But it seems you’re a little outside the Ben-Hassrath training. So... I’m coming to you just as me. Just the Iron Bull. Tell me what you need. And I’ll listen.”

Despite his Ben-Hassrath training having been what created this mess, it wasn’t exactly a switch that Bull could turn off. What it told him of Adaar’s reaction was that there was relief in his posture, an acknowledgement that that was something that Adaar truly wanted. So he’d made a good first step. 

Adaar moved around, coming to sit on the bed across from Bull. “What I need... You know, even back among the Valo-Kas, it was ‘suggested’ more than once that I ‘needed’ to... get my cork popped on occasion. Everyone there always made remarks about how odd it was that I... was more comfortable with a few books, or honing my skills with magic than ever... going out and engaging in... Well, with them it was probably outright debauchery, but... Even when we were near the brothels, where sex came with the dropping of a few coin, instead of the various ‘celebrations’ they’d come up with... I’d always pass on it. Sex... has never really been something I’ve found that I’ve needed.”

That actually came as a surprise to Bull – Most people he’d met wouldn’t pass up a roll in the hay if it was offered, and, if they did, it was because of reasons like a vow or oath of celibacy, or strict adherence to monogamy. That... that could have thrown off his training. He’d known a few back amongst the other Qunari in Seheron who had no need of the Tamassrans offering their services, but he hadn’t met anyone this part of Thedas who felt that way. That had been, he realized, more a side effect of how he didn’t interact with the people here enough to really find out what they were interested in when it came to who they shared a bed with. If they weren’t interested in sleeping with him – and many saw a Qunari, particularly a Qunari so prominently QUNARI, as a line too far – he hadn’t really cared to gauge what their bedroom preferences might be. 

“So when I came in here, telling you that I’d read you were looking to... let go in that way, you weren’t exactly ready for that.” Bull also was well aware that you didn’t start out that fast, then. 

“I don’t know if I ever would be ready, Bull. That’s the thing. I’m not sure if there’s ever going to be a time where even what you’d... start me out on would be comfortable.” Adaar looked away from Bull, as if he couldn’t bear looking at him – that the idea that he didn’t want to have sex was something that Bull would consider unacceptable if there was going to be any kind of relationship between the two of them.

Bull wouldn’t deny that it wasn’t exactly familiar territory for him – riding the bull was generally all people were after with him, and, once it was over, they’d both go their separate ways. If that wasn’t part of the equation, he was out of his element. 

But the way that Adaar... the way that Kost was looking hit him hard. He looked like he’d already made the conclusion that Bull would give up on him. Had it been like this for him before, being told that, because he didn’t want to sleep with someone, they’d abandon him? Bull didn’t need Ben-Hassrath training to tell him that it was a fear in Kost’s mind, and one that had more foundation than simply him being afraid. Someone had told him that they wouldn’t be with him because of this, that they’d heard him express his needs and decided to rebuff him for it. 

And the idea pissed Bull off. The man in front of him had given him a place to belong, one that existed outside of the Qun, the place, the ideals that he’d spent his life serving. He’d viewed Bull as a person, and, while he knew that the Chargers had done that as well, they’d come to him. Bull had come to Kost.

Bull rose from the couch and moved to Kost, pulling him off the bed and into an embrace, being careful of the other man’s horns. He was about to bare his heart, it usually would involve a bit more dignity than offered with a broken nose from being whacked in the face. “Listen to me, Boss. You’ve told me what you need, and I’m gonna do everything I can to give you that. I’m not used to it, but... For you, I’m willing. It’s different for me, and I might end up messing things up, but I’m going to do what I can to give you what you need.”

Kost needed a moment for that to sink in. As it did, he returned the embrace, and Bull could feel him smile against his chest.

It was different, he knew. But, feeling Kost in his arms, Bull realized that he could come to like it anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Written by a grumpy gay ace left unsatisfied by Inquisition.


End file.
